


Across Galaxies

by TheFireInHerEyes



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Gen, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related, Protective Ben Solo, Protective Kylo Ren, Redeemed Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:48:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22246588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFireInHerEyes/pseuds/TheFireInHerEyes
Summary: Ben Solo is not redeemed. Yet.He has taken the opportunity his father gave him and he went home. He is not redeemed, but he is home.And he is recovering. He is healing from what he had done, from what was done to him with his mother and his father. With Rey and Finn and Poe.He is recovering. Slowly.Upon returning to the light side of the force and working his way back from the dark place he is in, he discovers that he is still not whole.A part of him is missing, a piece of his soul is gone, split with another.The only clue Ben Solo, formerly known as Kylo Ren receives, is the name of a planet multiple universes and worlds away.Earth. And it's inked into his skin
Relationships: Ben Solo & Reader, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Ben Solo/Original Female Character(s), Ben Solo/Reader, Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey
Comments: 39
Kudos: 236
Collections: Star Wars - Ben Solo/Kylo Ren x Reader/OC Recommendations





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> *Slow updates, please be patient*

Ben stared at the written word over and over, confusion written on his face. His black eyebrows were furrowed as he pondered the odd word, the foreign place that held a piece of him, held a part he needed to really be at piece.

"We have no information about this place." Rey spared a glance toward Finn, the tension between the two males was still thick and heavy. 

"I know." The two word response was so familiar to him, repeated by his father when he was talking to his mother, repeated by his father when Ben tried apologizing again. And again. 

"We've tried looking-" he stood, the chair scraping against the concrete floor.

Rey was pulled back by Finn, the other male's eyes narrowed dangerously as he protected the woman he loved. Even if he hadn't needed to, even if Rey could kick Ben's ass from here to Naboo, Finn would've still protected Rey with his very life. 

Ben, at one point would've considered such emotion a weakness. Now, he admired it.

"Thank you." He forced out the two words as he brushed his black curls out of his face. 

"We'll keep trying, Ben. We'll figure this out." A kind look from Rey and a cautionary warning glance from Finn was what greet Ben before he left the small room for the open bay of the hangar. 

Would they figure it out? 

Yes. He felt it. 

He would find whomever had his missing piece.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Slow updates, be patient*

The man staring back at him through the mirror was a man who had been troubled. Was troubled. The man with the dark, curly hair that he inherited from his father, the hazel eyes as well. 

The nose he got from his mother was now slightly crooked after being broken once, then twice. His lips were plump like his fathers, but his jaw was his mothers. 

He was, as most children tend to be, a mix of his father and mother, Han Solo and Leia Organa. At least when it came to his physical appearance. 

His attitude, his personality, well…

He could really pinpoint parts of him that he had shoved so far down into himself, and now that they were emerging, had felt…unnatural. 

He imagined, or had some mid-range hopes, that as he became more distanced from the past, from the dark side that he had fought so hard to embrace, he would come into his own.

Kylo Ren was dead. 

And Ben Solo would live. 

“It doesn’t excuse you for what you've done.” He didn't need to remind himself of the immense pain and torture he had inflicted on others, but he did. 

He stared himself in the eyes and he told himself that he was a monster, that he would never be redeemed. It was easier that way. 

It was easier to believe that the monster behind the man was still lingering, ever present. How else could he rationalize the change in him? How else could he try and deal with the repercussions of what he had caused? 

“I can hear you thinking from across the base.” He was used to hearing Rey's voice, but this was not in his head. 

Ben looked beyond himself, moved his attention away from his reflection, and focused on the reflection of Rey in the mirror. The Jedi robes she was wearing, crisp and white, modified by her, showed very little sign of the dust that almost covered every inch of the base. 

“I thought we were over being in each other’s heads.” His lips twitched, a slight smirk forming on his face. 

“Clearly I would like to,” Rey moved closer to Ben, the glimmer of the light fixture catching the metal of her light saber, “but you need to stop thinking so much.” 

When she was standing beside him, her reflection almost level with his, she reached toward the belt around her waist, and latched onto the light saber that didn't *quite* belong to her. 

“I can't.” Ben cleared his throat. “I’m not…I can't.” 

He may have chosen the light. He may have chosen to abandon the dark side of the force and return home to his father, to his mother and uncle. He may have chosen to stop resisting the pull of home, of warmth, but there were some in the Resistance, some people on the base who doubted him. 

“Come on Ben,” Rey encouraged him again, “take it. It’s yours.”  
He closed his hand around the hilt of the light saber, the metal of the hilt was cool against his palm. He kept his eyes fixed on the metal hilt, fixed on the activation switch.

The light saber, which had been his grandfather’s, then his uncles and now his, had represented more than just a deadly weapon, it represented what he wished he could become. 

He just wasn't sure if he really had it in him. 

Still, he thanked the younger woman beside him, for the light saber in his hand, and for every other act of kindness she had extended him. 

“They’re waiting for you.” Rey spoke after a few minutes of silence between the two. “Luke and Leia. Han.” 

Ben leaned forward and gripped the edge of the sink in front of him, knuckles white. He felt his heart nearly skipping beats as he nearly reached a level of anxiety he had not felt before. 

He should’ve been closer to peacefulness than he was. He should’ve found himself feeling lighter and more at ease, and yet it was almost worse than before. 

He was home, he was with his parents and he was on the road to recovery and healing. But the things he had done, what had been done to him, it didn't just go away because he had returned to the light. 

Everything he had done, the Jedi temple, the slaughter of an entire village, the torture of Poe and Rey…it was there. 

He would not be easily forgiven, easily redeemed.

“I know.” He answered like his father again. The two little words spoke volumes about this level of anxiety, this sudden case of nervousness that took hold of him. 

“Let's go, Ben.” Rey grabbed his hand and squeezed. “I’ll be there with you.” 

He looked her way, eyes locked and a brief smile graced his face. Rey was his friend, his family. 

Despite what he did to her, she forgave him. She wanted to help him. 

“Okay.” He turned away from his reflection. 

He turned away from the mirror and followed Rey as she left the bathroom, left the simple room he was given, toward the General’s office on the other side of the base. 

He followed behind her as she walked with confidence. He followed behind her as they moved through the base and skeptical eyes were on him. Ben followed Rey, while being watched like a trapped animal in a side show. 

Very few people trusted his decision. Very few people believed that he would return from the dark side and come home as quickly as he had. 

They didn't trust him, didn't trust his motives. They didn't forgive him, wouldn't forgive him. Some of them had even questioned his mother’s judgement, his father’s sanity. 

They didn't believe that General Organa was thinking and acting from a place of neutrality, but a place of sentiment. They believed that she was acting purely out of love for her son.  
That's why they had Luke. That's why Luke was here. 

If Ben had suddenly switched positions again, if he were to choose the dark side once more, then they would have Luke.  
Luke would do what was necessary to end the threat. Even if it meant Ben was destroyed.

“General Organa,” Rey stepped into the room and all eyes were on her, “Leia…” She corrects herself and stepped aside. 

Before Ben had even moved, before he had sat in the empty chair in the office set aside for the General, he was made aware of 4 guards in the room with blasters in their hands. 

He was made aware of his uncle watching him closely, his own, new, light saber not far from his reach. 

He was made aware of both Finn and Poe watching him carefully with slight narrowed eyes. He was made aware of Chewie standing at the back near his father, the restless rolling off of him in waves. 

“Ben,” his mother stood and walked toward him with her hands outstretched, “thank you for coming on such short notice.” 

He nods in reply, choosing a simple answer instead of making a point about how little he could move around the base, around the planet. 

“Luke.” He addressed his uncle, and appointed Jedi master. 

As he sat down in the empty chair, as he ignored the eyes on him, he focused on something else. Something in the Force that was calling him, calling to him. 

It wasn't clear, it wasn’t strong enough to be distinguishable, but it was there. 

A quiet, weak calling. Something behind the scenes, behind thick fog that was reaching out to him. 

“Earth.” Luke spoke the foreign word, drawing Ben's attention to his uncle. 

“You feel it.” Luke leaned forward and stretched out his hand, his index finger tapping Ben's forearm. “We know what it means, in a way.” 

Ben pulled his dark grey sleeve up his forearm, the black ink that had appeared only a short time ago, was a simple word. 

“For those of us who aren't wise in the ways of the Force,” Poe spoke up from the far-right side of the room, “what does this mean?” 

“It means Commander Dameron, that Ben's recovery from the dark side of the Force will not be complete. It means that a piece of his soul is attached to someone, somewhere on this planet. It means that until Ben finds the missing piece of his soul, he will never know true peace.” Silence had filled the room after Luke had finished speaking.

“A soulmate bond that extends from one-person or another, across multiple universes. It is stronger than a bond between a master and an apprentice, it will bring Ben peace. It will make him whole; it will heal him.” Luke continued once more. 

“We need to find the other half of the bond and bring them here. I will continue working with Ben to get better control of his emotions, to help him refocus back on the light side.” With Luke and Leia, and his father, Ben was on the road to recovery. 

“We'll work on finding this mystery planet, and once we find the planet, we find the other half of the bond.” 

Earth.

Earth was the key.

\---


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Slow updates, please be patient*

When Ben was younger, he could remember spending a great deal of time in and round the Millennium Falcon. He could remember playing in the cargo holds that were empty on the ship that held destroy the empire. 

He could remember running back and forth throughout the winding pathways of the rather large ship, even though the outside made it appear smaller than it actually was. 

While his father was around, and he was in a rather pleasant mood, Ben would be by his father’s side, fixing up the old girl under his direction. At the end of the long day working on the Millennium Falcon, before Snoke, before he succumbed to the dark side, even before he joined the Jedi temple, Ben would spend days with his father. 

He would be taken out of short flight missions around Naboo, his birthplace. He would be given the structural plans for the ship, and he would study them until the sun went down. 

He was told he got his penchant for tearing things apart and putting them back together from his grandfather. Along with his ability to fox and tinker with both ships and droids, Ben was an avid and greatly talented pilot.

He inherited his skills from both his grandfather and his father, and during his time with the First Order, Ben had one of their best pilots. 

Ben had good memories on that ship. But his good memories were outweighed by the terror. The happy memories of him and his father, of the Millennium Falcon, of Naboo and the green scapes, were tainted by the dark side, by Snoke. 

It pulled him, it made him angry and scared. When his mother couldn't help, when his father had left, it was too late. When his uncle Luke had seen the darkness in him, and he had tried to kill him, it had broken the ties. 

Ben became Kylo Ren, Ben killed the other Padawan’s at the temple. He tried to completely embrace the dark side and finish what his grandfather had started. He tried to do what his grandfather didn’t. 

But the more control Snoke had over him, the greater effect the light side had on him. As Snoke had told him time and time before, the light had never left him. The light would be his downfall. 

And it was. 

As Kylo Ren. 

Still, as far as he had come, it wasn't enough. Until he found the mystery person from the planet called Earth, until they were together, he would not be complete. 

He could come close, he could almost completely extinguish the dark, but it wouldn’t be enough. It is what the final step would be to achieving all the healing he needed. 

Finding the other half, would be the formidable problem. 

“The problem lies in the planet itself.” The hologram of the galaxy was on display in the center of the room. “It's not in our galaxy.” 

Ben's dark eyebrows furrowed in frustration as the statement spoken by one of droids from the earlier meeting rang in his head. 

“The planet is not in our galaxy? Is it beyond?” Ben's jaw clenched. 

He was supposed to be clearing his mind, meditating on feeling the light pass through him. He was supposed to be focusing on finding his center, finding peace within himself. 

“Focus Ben.” Luke's voice replaced the droids. “Don't give in to the anger, the pain.” 

He was doing exercises meant for a child. He was meditating as a young padawan would, but it was stated, that becoming one with the light side of the force wouldn't happen instantly. 

It wasn’t as if Ben could just turn away from the dark side and be fixed. It would take time, effort. It would take meditation and training, physical and mental, to get himself back where he would be. 

Snoke, the First Order in general, had done a lot of damage to him. Indescribable pain and suffering from the hands of Snoke that was intended to train and warp Ben's mind. 

“If this other person has a piece of his soul attached to them, could he not try and make contact?” Another question from the earlier meeting reverberated in his mind.

“Focus, Ben.” Luke walked around him, encouraging him. 

Ben kept his eyes closed as he reached out using the Force. He delved deeper into the Force as he tried to make a connection between him and the other piece of his soul, maybe he could pinpoint where they were. 

“Ben, come back.” He ignored Luke's warning. 

He ignored him in favour for the feeling of someone beckoning him. Someone was calling him. Someone was searching in the same way as he. 

“Earth.” 

♤♡♤♡

“Earth.” You shot awake with a frightened shriek, your hands reaching for the lamp on your nightstand. 

As you smashed the button to turn on the light, you glanced around the room with widened eyes. Nothing seemed amiss, nothing seemed to be out of place, and there was no one here. 

But you heard it. You heard the voice as clear as day, as if someone was standing beside you, speaking. The voice was unrecognizable, a deep baritone that was rich. 

“Earth.” You mumbled under your breath and shuddered, feeling more than ever that you weren't quite alone. 

The unsettled feeling that crashed into you had made you duck down under your covers, your eyes focused on the soft glow of your lamp to your right. 

You couldn't exactly be sure of what you had heard, if you had heard it right at all. Did you actually hear someone speak? 

Probably not. 

Were you dreaming? More than likely. 

With that thought nestled in your brain, that it was more than likely just a dream, you settled back into bed and let sleep overtake you once more. 

“…what…Solo…x-wing…” You head fell from your hand as you jumped out of your own skin. 

The computer screen in front of you showed the same spreadsheet as before, the same numbers typed into the little cell spaces. The cursor was blinking as it hovered over the cell space you had partially typed a number into it. 

“What is going on?” you mumbled under your breath, using your right hand to massage your right temple. 

Your idea that it was all just a dream was shattered the moment you heard the voice again, just as deep, just as husky. The three words had managed to come across not as clear as they had before, garbled and muffled, as if someone was speaking through a radio. 

“You’re not crazy.” You shook your head and cracked your neck.   
“You had a bad sleep last night and that makes you susceptible to exhaustion and it's symptoms.” 

You hadn't believed what you said, but it hadn't mattered anyway. 

“You are not crazy.” You rolled your neck back and forth, opening your eyes after they had been closed. 

As your gaze settled onto your left bare arm, a slip of blank ink was starting to appear on your forearm. 

“D'Qar?” You frowned and rubbed your thumb across the ink, hoping that it was something you had written on yourself during one of your bouts of exhaustion, but the more you scrubbed your skin, the darker the ink became. 

“I'm not crazy. I am not crazy.” You doubt yourself the moment you said it. 

You had to be crazy. You just had to be.


	4. Chapter 3

It was hardly a secret that Ben had trouble sleeping. During his childhood he was plagued by nightmares of monsters and villains that would cause him to wake screaming in a cold sweat. 

As he grew older, he became conflicted and drawn to the dark side in response to his parents distancing themselves. He was drawn to the dark side in response to his unhappiness with his life and himself. 

He thought the nightmares may have stopped after he left his home, his parents, and he became Kylo Ren. He thought that would his saving Grace, that by embracing who he thought he was in his core, he would have better sleep. 

While he was on the Star Destroyer, he would spend his sleepless nights in various places of the ship, in silence, trying to deal with the sleep that eluded him. He would spend hours in the advanced training rooms, honing his skills. 

When he had finally exhausted himself in the early hours of the night, he would return to his chambers for a few hours of rest and sleep, never quite getting enough. 

Now that he was on D'Qar and had returned to the light, had become Ben Solo again, his sleep had gotten better. It had improved in the way that he could get 5 or 6 hours of sleep if he was lucky, but not much beyond that. 

In D'Qar, instead of wandering a ship and spending hours in the training facility, Ben would head down to the repair bay for droids. It was in the repair bay that he would find himself tinkering with droids like his uncle, like his grandfather had. 

The motions of tinkering with droids while others slept was almost therapeutic. It was calming to him, to be stripping droids down to the bare wires, building them back up again. 

Being in the silence wasn't as uncomfortable as Ben had remembered. Being in the silence while fiddling with spare parts for droids was rather calming. It allowed himself to think, in peace, without the noise of the base and of the various ships taking off and coming in for a landing. 

It was a fine line, though. 

A fine like between letting his mind wander freely, and letting his mind fixate on his mistakes from the past. If he found himself fixating on what he had done, the dark side of the force that had such a hold on him at one point, it would stir something in Ben, something he was trying to avoid. 

“Focus on the light.” He pushed a droid's panel back into place, before the newly rewired droid went scurrying back to its charging station. 

Ben sighed and cracked his neck before reaching and grazing his fingertips against another droid in need of repair. As his fingertips touched the red metal droid, he was hit with a blow of panic. 

It came on suddenly, the panic rising in his throat. It spread through him like wildfire, but it hadn't been his. It wasn't his panic that enveloped him, but rather it was someone else’s. It felt superficial almost, as if it was just coating part of him like a sheen. 

Ben pulled away from the droid and shifted positions. He sat up straight with his dark grey, long sleeved shirt pressed tight against the cool metal wall. He brushed his black curls out of his face and closed his eyes. 

As he sat against the wall, he exhaled slowly. He focused on the feeling of overwhelming panic that had overcome him, focusing on the source through the reach of his abilities in the force. 

He focused, he breathed evenly as he stretched out his hand through the force, weeding through every other source he felt. 

He needed to find who was projecting panic onto him, he needed to find the source or else he would slip into a full-blown panic attack. 

As he reached further through the force, he found himself being drawn in. The connection he had formed with the other person who had a piece of his soul in theirs, was pulling him in again. 

He pursed his plump lips and furrowed his eyebrows as he pushed further. They were the source for the panic, the overwhelming and stifling anxiety that had hit him suddenly. 

Ben exhaled again. “You need to calm down.” 

He spoke through his mind, hoping the message would get through the connection that was universes and galaxies away.

“Calm down.” 

\---

Your breathe hitched in your throat as you shuffled down the cracked and broken sidewalk, your bag clutched tightly in your hand, against your right side. 

The streetlight above cast shadowy figures onto the street you were walking on, but they were hardly the worst of your worries. The shadows were just that, shadows. 

You were hardly afraid of shadows. What you were afraid of was being a single woman, walking through one of the worst parts of the neighborhood to get to your shitty apartment. 

The string of attacks against people in the neighbourhood were growing in both their boldness and their gravity. What started as simple thefts had grown into armed robberies, armed muggings and even kidnapping. 

The police had come by day after day it seemed, scoping the neighbourhood for suspects they claimed were all in some sort of gang. The gang, they also claimed, lived either in the area or the surrounding neighborhood that was on the poorer side of town. 

“It's just a shadow.” You mumbled under your breath; the can of pepper spray tucked in your purse for easy access. “It's just shadows.” 

After you turned the corner, you were briefly relieved to see your crappy apartment at the end of the street. The old building spray painted with bright colours stood out against the grey concrete building around it, an attempt made by the landlord to make the place seem more appealing. 

“Almost home.” You started to cross the street, every step you took was a step closer to moderate safety. 

“Hey!” You stopped misstep when you heard a voice shouting behind you. 

Despite your instincts telling you not to turn around, not to look, you cast a glance over your shoulder. A man wearing a black hoodie with a bandana covering his face was standing at the end of the street, his eyes focused solely on you. 

“Where you going, baby?” He whistled at you, his creepy grin widening when he saw your fear. 

All hope for making it home without incident fled you, ass full blown panic took hold of you. You gripped your bag tighter before you. Started running toward your building. Your legs pumped as fast as they could, your heartbeat echoing in your ears as you ran for safety. 

“I just want to play!” The man's footsteps pounding against the concrete street seemed thunderous as he chased after you. “Why are you running?” 

As startled cry was ripped from your mouth as you nearly tripped and stumbled over the broken and cracked sidewalk.  
“Not now!” You whimpered, desperate to reach your building.

Your heart was hammering in your chest, your breath wavering as you nearly slipped into a full blow anxiety attack. Every horrible situation that could’ve happened was running through your head like a horror movie playing on the big screen. This was not what you wanted to happen after your late shift. 

“I've almost got you!” He mocked you as he chased you, so sure of himself. “I want to play a game.” 

When you were in reach of the lobby door, you gripped the handle and shoved your key in, unlocking the heavy glass and metal door. You slammed your shoulder into the metal to open it and then slammed your shoulder against it, when you were inside, to close it. 

The man who was chasing you had stood outside of the door, banging his fist against the metal frame, shouting at you through the glass. 

You stumbled away from the door, choosing to hide around the corner until he was gone, not wishing to give him the opportunity to see which apartment was yours. 

“It's okay…” You slid down the wall, back pressed tightly around the drywall. You yanked your knees up to your chest and closed your eyes, focusing less on the banging on the door, and more on the voice in your head. 

“You need to calm down.” The deep and baritone voice whispered. “Calm down.”


	5. Chapter 4

The nightmares plagued him, haunted him. A mix of torment that fuelled his discontent and uncertainty about what he was doing, the consuming dark that spread like poison fog burning everything it touched. 

The dark. The dark side of the force which he vowed to leave. The dark that still haunted him as a phantom in the night. 

The dreams that followed, the light. The warmth of a laugh, the feeling of sun kissing his skin and the swaying blades of grass brushing against his legs. The dream that calmed him, the return to the planet of Naboo, the place he once loved and longed to be. 

The light side of the force. The light that he wanted to vow his life to, the light that he wanted to return to. Completely. 

It was the dream, the sound of faint lighter, the sound of a voice that was pleasant, welcoming. It was the contrast between light and dark that stirred the storm, made things in his life seem more complicated and destructive than usual. 

Was he being pulled further toward the light by the promise of this unknown planet and the mystery soulmate he needed to find? Or was the dark going to win again? 

Was he going to lose his second chance? 

“My name is,” he mumbled his name on his breath, wishing it would reach through the connection, “Ben Solo.” 

He wasn't sure if the person on the other end of the connection would hear, would receive his message. He couldn't be certain how much of his daily life, his struggle with his identity, the battle between the light and dark, his soulmate could see. 

It almost made him self conscious, struggling the way he had been and knowing that there could possibly be an audience.   
Someone who could see glimpses and hear conversations, feel his frustration and anger, self-doubt and anguish. 

He almost wanted to sever the connection to hold what little image he had of himself for the mystery stranger. But he couldn't. 

He wouldn’t. 

The woman from earth, the strange universe, strange galaxy and world, was his key. He would never find peace until the two came together. 

“Don't do this, Ben.” It was Rey's voice that called through the darkness. “Don't leave yet.” 

It was Rey, his cousin, his closest ally, who was his current voice of reason. Rey, who he had treated so horribly and miserably, who defended Ben on the base. She had stood by his side and spoke out in his favor, helping sway some of the skeptics when it came to his changed self. 

Rey and his mother. 

“I have to.” Ben saw no other choice, there could be no other choice. 

He would not be one with the force until he was one with himself. He could not be one with himself without finding peace. His peace would come from the woman from earth. 

“They won't let you go. Your mother won't let you go.” He heard Rey's voice again. 

Ben placed his hands on the mattress he was sitting on and pushed himself to stand. The stone floor beneath his feet cut through the warmth in his body making him shiver. 

Goosebumps rose to his skin, and for the briefest moment, he was back on Naboo. 

For the briefest moment Ben was standing in the middle of a frozen lake on Naboo, his mother watching him from the shore as he stood on the massive sheet of ice, his brown eyes fixated on the creature so closely resembling a fawn slip and slide. 

For a moment he was taking steps toward the fallen creature whispering softly as he tried to coax it to calm. He was going to help it, he was going to help the creature up, let it move along. 

“Ben,” Rey's voice aligned with his mothers in memory, “don't do this.” 

“I have to.” He spoke with the memory, taking a step at the same time. 

It was too late to turn back. He needed to do this, he had to do this. He had to save the fawn, he had to find the woman. 

“Let me come with you.” He slipped out of the assigned room his was given, listening for any crew members of the base who may have been awake. He listened for the sound of one of the wandering security droids who were supposed to keep eyes on him. 

“No, Rey.” He muttered under his breath as he left his room and moved slowly toward the hangar. His breath was bated as he moved. 

“Ben please…” he waved his hand and Rey's voice was thrown from his mind, locked out. 

He had to do this. He couldn't wait any longer. He was going to be torn apart and broken by the weight of the light and dark sides fighting for him.

He needed his peace. He would find the woman from Earth. He had to. 

“Ben you can't go alone.” Rey's voice cut through the silence. “Let me come with you. We can do this together.” 

He ignored her voice, ignored her pleading. This was something he had to do on his own, something he would do on his own. He wouldn’t be able to explain it to anyone, the urgency behind his motives. He wouldn't be able to tell anyone why he was planning on going on his own, why he had to go on his own, he just did. 

He just did. 

“Ben,” Rey tried again to plead with him, “please let me come with you.” 

Again, he ignored her voice. He ignored her pleas as he approached the hangar. He hesitated outside of the large hangar bay doors, waiting and wondering if he really could pull this off. 

He knew nothing about the planet he was going to. He knew nothing about the universe or galaxy. If something happened to the ship he would take, then he could be stood in an entirely different galaxy and universe. He could be stuck with no way to get back and no way to communicate with D'Qar. 

“I'm coming.” He tried again to push the message through the connection. 

He crossed the hangar and moved toward the millennium falcon. The, claimed, fastest ship in the galaxy would be the best possible option for him. Ben would know how to fix the ship in case something happens to it on the journey, but he would also be able to fly it like a second nature. 

“You can't go on your own.” Rey spoke again, the sound of her voice was not echoing in his mind like it was before, Rey was here. “Ben you can't go on your own. Let me help you.” 

He turned his head and glanced over his shoulder, his brown eyes meeting hers. He didn't speak at first, simply watched her as she moved toward him with purpose. Her lightsaber she had crafted for herself was hanging on her hip, a blaster on the other hip. 

She replaced her Jedi training robes for a modified flight suit, the dark grey cloth was saved for test flights instead of battles. 

The dark grey training flight suit had Finns name written in white thread, the rank he was awarded by Ben's mother was etched underneath. The legs had been shoved into the black, calf high boots, the sleeves rolled up and secured with a metal pin. 

“I have to do this alone, Rey. I don't need you.” Ben snapped at Rey, he spoke harsher than he intended, but the message needed to come across. 

“I’m not asking anymore.” Rey walked toward him and then past him as she walked up the loading ramp of the millennium falcon. “You need my help.” 

The conversation was over. It had ended the moment she set foot on the loading ramp and nothing would change her mind. It was decided, and Ben might as well just go along with her desires, lest he waste his breath. 

“Fine.” Ben snapped, his patience withering. “We need to leave. Now. Before someone notices.” 

“I have the coordinates.” Rey glanced at Ben from the corner of her eye, a question on the tip of her tongue, unspoken. 

Ben knew she wanted to ask. He knew she wanted to ask about the connection he had with the other woman. He hadn't told her anything other than some minor details. 

The rest was kept to himself. As it should be. Between him and the soulmate on earth.


	6. Chapter 5

His voice, the voice of your soulmate from the non-existent planet of D'Qar was on repeat in your mind. The few words that he was able to communicate with you were on an endless loop, parts of your psyche fixating on the rich baritone voice and the effect it had on your nerves. 

You didn't understand it. Not really. You didn't understand why he was able to infiltrate your mind, speak directly to you. You didn't understand why he had such a lasting and calming effect on you especially when you were at your peak for panic and anxiety. 

You supposed you could’ve let it boil down to the fact that the pair of you are soul bound soulmates, but that felt like a betrayal of something more meaningful.

It felt like what you had between you and this mystery man from D'Qar was a soulmate bond, but it was also something more. It was deeper, more powerful than you felt other bonds were. 

But maybe that was the hopeless dreamer in you that wished you knew the answers to every question you ever had about D'Qar and the mystery voice.

Maybe it was your longstanding curiosity that was finally reaching a point of no return. Maybe it was your desperation to find the face to match the voice and the location behind your soul binding tattoo. 

“My name is Y/N L/N.” You focused on projecting the words in your mind with the same energy as it took to speak it. 

“If you can hear me…” You took pause. You took a moment to fill your lungs completely with air and you held it for the briefest moment. 

“…I want to meet you…” You exhaled sharply with the feeling like your words were ripped right from your brain, yanked beneath you and obliterated. 

You exhaled again, this time in defeat. Would you ever meet the face behind the voice? Would you ever find the place called D'Qar? 

You tried to ignore the sudden feeling of heaviness, even as it nearly made you stumble back toward your glass top coffee table and your worn and weathered couch. You tried to grapple and grab onto something to keep you from completely collapsing when your entire body felt drained of any and all energy. 

“What the hell?!” you stewed in caution and concern for the sudden feeling hitting you square in the chest. “What is wrong with me?!” 

As quickly as the moment had come, it seemed to stop. As quickly as you were stumbling back due to the pressure on your body, almost as if some invisible creature was climbing onto your back to drag you down purposefully, it had stopped. 

The heaviness had left like it had never been there in the first place. You felt completely normal, almost enough to give you the impression that maybe it was all in your head. Maybe it was your own mind over matter that had caused such a strange reaction. 

“I'm losing my mind.” You muttered again, grabbing your bag from the carpet where it was sitting beside the left leg of the coffee table. “I'm actually losing my mind.” 

You turned on your heel and lumbered toward the front door of your apartment. You had tucked your keys into your pocket, to be transferred to your bag later, and then grabbed your coat. 

With your keys secure and your coat draped over your arm, you did a final check to make sure nothing was forgotten before you left, and then you slipped out the front door, hopeful to forget what happened. 

♤♡♤♡

“Do you know anything about this planet?” Rey was the first to break the silence. “Or where to find this person?” 

Rey had glanced over at Ben more times in the last hour than she had at the controls of the Millennium Falcon that they had taken. 

Without anyone's consent or knowledge. 

“I don't know.” The three words would’ve caused a concern for anyone other than Rey, as this whole mission to find the missing part of Ben's soul was quite the risk. 

But Rey was sparsely worried, hardly bat an eye toward Ben as they took off from the base of D'Qar, using the cover of night and the quick thinking of BB-8. 

She had trusted Ben completely, when no others would. She had put a lot of faith and hope into Ben that he truly would recover and come back from the dark. His work with Luke, Leah, Rey and even Finn had done a great deal for Ben. 

“I’ve communicated with her through our connection. I’ve felt her anxiety and panic, I've heard her voice.” Ben had only heard the tone, not what you had actually said but it didn’t matter.

He had felt you, felt your emotions. He had felt the slight ease of your anxiety after he had told you to remain calm. He had felt your ease by his presence, albeit incredibly distanced. Ben was affecting you as much as you were affecting him, only you didn't have the weight of the dark side of the force on your shoulders.

Or maybe you had something equal weighing you down.

“I think as we get closer the connection will get stronger.” Rey flipped a switch above her as she prepared the Falcon for a jump into hyperspace. 

“It already has.” Ben brushed his black curls out of his face before he reached for the portable transponder. 

He knew that there would be no transmission between them and D'Qar but that hadn't meant that they had to be completely in the dark. He wanted to bring the device in case there were ports closer to the planet called Earth, that could give the two of them extra supplies if they so needed them. 

“Ben,” Rey reached out and squeezed his wrist, “I’m here for you, we can do this.”

He was ultimately glad that Rey had come with him. He was grateful to have her along for the company, and as a way to keep himself in check and in line. He would’ve been able to pull this off on his own, without much trouble, he hoped, but having Rey here may have calmed you down once he actually found you. 

Plus if things hadn't gone to plan, and it had all gone downhill, it would be good to have another force-sensitive fighter by his side. If things had gone wrong and they got into a trouble with whoever may try to stop him, at least he had Rey. 

“Thank you.” Ben turned his attention back to the front of the ship. 

As the ship lurched out of hyperspace, Ben himself felt an invasion in his mind. He felt the small poke at the back of his mind as the connection was opened and your voice, your crystal clear voice had rung out. 

“My name is Y/N L/N…if you can hear this…I want to meet you…”


End file.
